[You know what's horrifying? Holograms. You know what's even worse? Being Ian during them. So when you hear the horrified shrieks in the plaza, it's probably just Ian being carried by a group of lumberjacks toward a GIANT WHIRRING WOODCHIPPER. Suffice to say, Mr. Kolansky is flailing above their heads in complete terror.]

PLEASE NO, NOT THE CHIPPER ( Read more... )